Won't Stop Calling My Name - EP

by PC Walker

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Spoken word EP

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released March 1, 2012

Written and Performed: PC Walker
Produced: Jason Squires
Cover Art: Gabriel Wahl

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PC Walker Sacramento, California

Speaker.Writer.Pastor.Spoken Word Poet.

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Track Name: Permission Granted
You have been granted permission to worship
worship as if God actually hears you
worship as if your thoughts are words to God

Worship as if the sky were a funnel
to filter only your words to His ears

Worship as if your hang-ups and failures
are forgotten

Worship as if your heart is an enormous
marching drum only God can hear
and only you have the mallets for

Worship like your paycheck
did not depend on it but
your life did

because it does

Worship like your supervisor was not here
watching you

Worship like you have never heard this song before
worship like you have heard this song a million times

Worship like this were the last moment
you might be given
like the spot you stand
will never be the same again

Worship like you are standing
on the world's rooftop with reflections
every human ear will hear about your God

Worship like this room is frozen and darker
than solid black and the only warmth
is your song; the only light
your hands.

Worship like I just chewed up and swallowed the words
volume, service flow, programming, announcement time, and
"Hey, I like how you lead, I do, but I just don't like when you..."

Right now your past and All your means
of measuring your worth
withers before an eternal God
None of it is even a memory
it is mist

Your mind-blowing worship set...
Mist

Your horribly disconnected worship set...
Mist

How is your practice time going
mist

How many band members do you have in rotation
mist

How many years have you been doing this
mist

All those things that are holding you back right now
your inbox, comment cards, your paycheck
and your yearly evaluation
Mist

Your people's preferences, fears, and perceptions
their praises, complaints, and ambiguities
MIST

All of your failure, inadequacy, your doubt
your anxiety, fears, and worries
Mist mist mist

Quit inviting walls into your
wide open worship
You have been granted permission

So worship as if you were each given a headset with God's voice
on an infinite repeat

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love You
Track Name: Your god is too small
If your god is relegated to conscience
that little voice in your head
trained to speak
at the wave of your experience

your god is too small for me

If your god is only a projection
of the distant father in your living room
who abused and neglected you
when a father
was more important than food
or shelter

your god is too small for me

If your god failed you
by not doing what you thought he ought.
If your god is designed for your convenience
a prop for your comfort

your god is too small for me

If your god is a white-haired old man
who is more old fashioned than old-age
If your god is historically respected
but defective
in your current complexity

your god is too small for me

If your god is less meek and more mild
piled with placid temperament
un inspired un moved un intentional

If your god’s emotional capacity for compassion
is less than yours

your god is too small for me

If your god calls you to comfort
safe for the whole family
always “come unto me”
but never
“go out in my name”

your god is too small for me

If your god has never flushed your face
and stolen your words
with waves of open ocean
or mountains that mouse your vocabulary

If your god does not leave you in awe
of amazing grace so unbalanced
you clamber to conceive it

your god is too small for me

If your god abides by your contracts
a pact to protect your formulas
a god who upholds
your cold contingencies

If your god only works
through the cogs of machinery you have manufactured
for a factory of formulas to faith

your god is too small for me

If your god is white, middle-class, republican
if your god is Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, or Catholic
Pentecostal, Lutheran, or non-demonational

your god is too small for me

If your God created you in his image
and you returned the favor

your god is too small for me

Whatever god it is you know so much about
to comprehend or contain
is too small for me

Because

My God

is too big for you

My God is not contained in bullet-points
pressed on a page by those
arrogant enough to think they could grasp Him.

My God is too big for you

If you are searching for a god
small enough to see, tiny enough to taste
or touch with trust displaced

If your soul is not sandbagged
or beautifully nagged
by a God who
won’t stop
calling your name

my God is too big for you

If you do not praise your god
for poetry, music, and art
a baby’s smile or a full coffee-cart;
for brazen horizons and seas
a resounding storm or tender breeze

If your god does not leave you in love
with beauty that makes your soul
scream, “THIS is what life should be”

my God is too big for you

If you are searching for a god you can wrangle
like a mustang with a rope made of frayed twine
and managed reason

If you need a being who will obey your beckon
to submit to your five senses
and incomprehensive pretenses

then this poem is too big for you

my God is too big for you
Track Name: This is for the broken ones
this is for the broken ones
smart enough to know how foolish they are
this is for the ones who have tried
and found life lacking
This is for those not content
to confess that THIS
is all there is

this is for wearied ones fighting
the fads of wondering if
our crying hearts might drown us
It is for those who know
our tears are telescopes to heaven
looking through trembling lenses
for hope and deeper senses
of home

this is for those who don't need church
to be a menagerie of SAINTS
but an emergency room for sinners
It is for those whose shadows are faint
from finding too much light

It is for those who step out
onto nothing hoping
to land on something
because
accepting that you are accepted
is a perception of yourself
not everyone can afford

But this is for the wobbly and weak-kneed
who have let loose the luxury
of denying a handout
of amazing grace

This is for those who chose
a path, though straight and narrow,
is still rugged and beaten

You are still on the right track

This is for the phobic confessors
who could never match the projections
Of the pious
It is for those to whom perfection
is a gangly wire no one
could ever walk

This is for the child who holds
that heaven is full of five-year-olds sparing themselves
the futility of proving themselves
to people who will never speak their language
Of half cartoon, half boo-boo, and half "Daddy, I love you."

3 halves
they make one more than whole

Do not accept yourself only
as you should be but
as you are because
you will never be
as you should be

Quit rinsing your filthy rags
in gas station bathrooms
as if hand soap and make-believe
will make them believe you belong

But you belong

You belong to a kingdom belonging
to people not trying
to be cleaner than they are

You belong

This is for the sin-soaked and broken
who are loved and outspoken
knowing un worthy
is not the same
as worth less

This is for the paupers who have made peace
with their flaws and their friends
it is for those who have prayed in silence
but never ceased to pray

This is for you
Do not for one second take it for granted

Be certain
your gift is contagious

Though it is yours to have
it's value is only in it's giving away

Make sure your every conversation
leaves a sensation
of love

Because this

is where the mighty descend and the lowly rise
to comprise what we all crave
Track Name: The Possibility of Closeness [a Christmas poem]
We all have within us a dingy chamber
darkening the deep stone walls of our broken hearts
where behind the doubt encrusted bars
screams a familiar voice.

It screams louder than you can ignore
stronger than you can avoid
it is your voice
it is our voice

We are all wrapped up in a prison without a lock
and we scream
and we moan
and we scream again for
something
for more
for God.

We are all born broken people
with specifically aching hearts
needing God to
come closer.

We need more than myths, fables, and fairy tales
forcing God into a book
we need someone real.
We need more than philosophy.
Some god in outer-space
means nothing to us, so we all scream

come closer

So welcome!
you and your locked up voice,
come on in
Welcome to The Possibility of Closeness

We do not pursue
a generic god with our generic faith.
We will not be spiritual
in a generic way.
The Possibility of Closeness is not
whatever it means to you
it means to you

This will require a bit of faith
but faith is very simple, really.
It is nothing you muster up.

It is an operation of God
a divine illumination
whereby we stand on tipped toes
extending twitching fingers
for something we could never reach
and God makes it apprehendable
he makes it possible

Faith is learning to trust a God
giving promises he intends to keep
promises to hear your cries
promises to make possibilities of closeness

Today cannot be filed down
to farm animal figurines utop your fireplace mantle
Today is not the hope of shopping God closer
as if closeness to God tastes like
34th Street miracles and credit card debt

No, today is a celebration of an explosion
so silent it wouldn't wake the sleeping baby
it is the arresting eruption of the reality
God became flesh

So sssssssstop for a second and soak it up

God came close
as the skin and bone
Of your own
Forearm

God became flesh
So the Light of the World could
be seen as clearly
as you see me.

The possibility of Closeness is here

Not one of our words can contain his name
the message is too majestic for our methods
so he says
"Call me Jesus"
"Call me Immanuel"
God.With.Us


The Possibility of Closeness is nothing more than seeing Jesus
and responding to what you have seen


God showed up
to shepherds because he goes to those
who have time to listen
The possibility of closeness is only closed off
for those too busy to pay attention

God came close enough
to be breakable
to feel tired, weary, and fearing failure
to catch a cold and a case of hurt feelings
Your locked up voice will want to keep
God distantly divine
but don't you listen to that.

Let God be as human as he was because
if you do not let him in
he cannot get you out

The Possibility of Closeness seems
illogical and unreasonable because it is
Only God could love you
more than your ability
to understand it.

Christianity is not an ethic, morality or
philosophy of life
It is a love affair
the thrill and excitement of
being loved and falling in love
With Jesus Christ
born to bring us
closer to God

So today is for those who need God
to come closer because
Christmas IS

the possibility of closeness