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Won't Stop Calling My Name - EP

by PC Walker

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1.
You have been granted permission to worship worship as if God actually hears you worship as if your thoughts are words to God Worship as if the sky were a funnel to filter only your words to His ears Worship as if your hang-ups and failures are forgotten Worship as if your heart is an enormous marching drum only God can hear and only you have the mallets for Worship like your paycheck did not depend on it but your life did because it does Worship like your supervisor was not here watching you Worship like you have never heard this song before worship like you have heard this song a million times Worship like this were the last moment you might be given like the spot you stand will never be the same again Worship like you are standing on the world's rooftop with reflections every human ear will hear about your God Worship like this room is frozen and darker than solid black and the only warmth is your song; the only light your hands. Worship like I just chewed up and swallowed the words volume, service flow, programming, announcement time, and "Hey, I like how you lead, I do, but I just don't like when you..." Right now your past and All your means of measuring your worth withers before an eternal God None of it is even a memory it is mist Your mind-blowing worship set... Mist Your horribly disconnected worship set... Mist How is your practice time going mist How many band members do you have in rotation mist How many years have you been doing this mist All those things that are holding you back right now your inbox, comment cards, your paycheck and your yearly evaluation Mist Your people's preferences, fears, and perceptions their praises, complaints, and ambiguities MIST All of your failure, inadequacy, your doubt your anxiety, fears, and worries Mist mist mist Quit inviting walls into your wide open worship You have been granted permission So worship as if you were each given a headset with God's voice on an infinite repeat I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love You
2.
If your god is relegated to conscience that little voice in your head trained to speak at the wave of your experience your god is too small for me If your god is only a projection of the distant father in your living room who abused and neglected you when a father was more important than food or shelter your god is too small for me If your god failed you by not doing what you thought he ought. If your god is designed for your convenience a prop for your comfort your god is too small for me If your god is a white-haired old man who is more old fashioned than old-age If your god is historically respected but defective in your current complexity your god is too small for me If your god is less meek and more mild piled with placid temperament un inspired un moved un intentional If your god’s emotional capacity for compassion is less than yours your god is too small for me If your god calls you to comfort safe for the whole family always “come unto me” but never “go out in my name” your god is too small for me If your god has never flushed your face and stolen your words with waves of open ocean or mountains that mouse your vocabulary If your god does not leave you in awe of amazing grace so unbalanced you clamber to conceive it your god is too small for me If your god abides by your contracts a pact to protect your formulas a god who upholds your cold contingencies If your god only works through the cogs of machinery you have manufactured for a factory of formulas to faith your god is too small for me If your god is white, middle-class, republican if your god is Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, or Catholic Pentecostal, Lutheran, or non-demonational your god is too small for me If your God created you in his image and you returned the favor your god is too small for me Whatever god it is you know so much about to comprehend or contain is too small for me Because My God is too big for you My God is not contained in bullet-points pressed on a page by those arrogant enough to think they could grasp Him. My God is too big for you If you are searching for a god small enough to see, tiny enough to taste or touch with trust displaced If your soul is not sandbagged or beautifully nagged by a God who won’t stop calling your name my God is too big for you If you do not praise your god for poetry, music, and art a baby’s smile or a full coffee-cart; for brazen horizons and seas a resounding storm or tender breeze If your god does not leave you in love with beauty that makes your soul scream, “THIS is what life should be” my God is too big for you If you are searching for a god you can wrangle like a mustang with a rope made of frayed twine and managed reason If you need a being who will obey your beckon to submit to your five senses and incomprehensive pretenses then this poem is too big for you my God is too big for you
3.
this is for the broken ones smart enough to know how foolish they are this is for the ones who have tried and found life lacking This is for those not content to confess that THIS is all there is this is for wearied ones fighting the fads of wondering if our crying hearts might drown us It is for those who know our tears are telescopes to heaven looking through trembling lenses for hope and deeper senses of home this is for those who don't need church to be a menagerie of SAINTS but an emergency room for sinners It is for those whose shadows are faint from finding too much light It is for those who step out onto nothing hoping to land on something because accepting that you are accepted is a perception of yourself not everyone can afford But this is for the wobbly and weak-kneed who have let loose the luxury of denying a handout of amazing grace This is for those who chose a path, though straight and narrow, is still rugged and beaten You are still on the right track This is for the phobic confessors who could never match the projections Of the pious It is for those to whom perfection is a gangly wire no one could ever walk This is for the child who holds that heaven is full of five-year-olds sparing themselves the futility of proving themselves to people who will never speak their language Of half cartoon, half boo-boo, and half "Daddy, I love you." 3 halves they make one more than whole Do not accept yourself only as you should be but as you are because you will never be as you should be Quit rinsing your filthy rags in gas station bathrooms as if hand soap and make-believe will make them believe you belong But you belong You belong to a kingdom belonging to people not trying to be cleaner than they are You belong This is for the sin-soaked and broken who are loved and outspoken knowing un worthy is not the same as worth less This is for the paupers who have made peace with their flaws and their friends it is for those who have prayed in silence but never ceased to pray This is for you Do not for one second take it for granted Be certain your gift is contagious Though it is yours to have it's value is only in it's giving away Make sure your every conversation leaves a sensation of love Because this is where the mighty descend and the lowly rise to comprise what we all crave
4.
We all have within us a dingy chamber darkening the deep stone walls of our broken hearts where behind the doubt encrusted bars screams a familiar voice. It screams louder than you can ignore stronger than you can avoid it is your voice it is our voice We are all wrapped up in a prison without a lock and we scream and we moan and we scream again for something for more for God. We are all born broken people with specifically aching hearts needing God to come closer. We need more than myths, fables, and fairy tales forcing God into a book we need someone real. We need more than philosophy. Some god in outer-space means nothing to us, so we all scream come closer So welcome! you and your locked up voice, come on in Welcome to The Possibility of Closeness We do not pursue a generic god with our generic faith. We will not be spiritual in a generic way. The Possibility of Closeness is not whatever it means to you it means to you This will require a bit of faith but faith is very simple, really. It is nothing you muster up. It is an operation of God a divine illumination whereby we stand on tipped toes extending twitching fingers for something we could never reach and God makes it apprehendable he makes it possible Faith is learning to trust a God giving promises he intends to keep promises to hear your cries promises to make possibilities of closeness Today cannot be filed down to farm animal figurines utop your fireplace mantle Today is not the hope of shopping God closer as if closeness to God tastes like 34th Street miracles and credit card debt No, today is a celebration of an explosion so silent it wouldn't wake the sleeping baby it is the arresting eruption of the reality God became flesh So sssssssstop for a second and soak it up God came close as the skin and bone Of your own Forearm God became flesh So the Light of the World could be seen as clearly as you see me. The possibility of Closeness is here Not one of our words can contain his name the message is too majestic for our methods so he says "Call me Jesus" "Call me Immanuel" God.With.Us The Possibility of Closeness is nothing more than seeing Jesus and responding to what you have seen God showed up to shepherds because he goes to those who have time to listen The possibility of closeness is only closed off for those too busy to pay attention God came close enough to be breakable to feel tired, weary, and fearing failure to catch a cold and a case of hurt feelings Your locked up voice will want to keep God distantly divine but don't you listen to that. Let God be as human as he was because if you do not let him in he cannot get you out The Possibility of Closeness seems illogical and unreasonable because it is Only God could love you more than your ability to understand it. Christianity is not an ethic, morality or philosophy of life It is a love affair the thrill and excitement of being loved and falling in love With Jesus Christ born to bring us closer to God So today is for those who need God to come closer because Christmas IS the possibility of closeness

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Spoken word EP

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released March 1, 2012

Written and Performed: PC Walker
Produced: Jason Squires
Cover Art: Gabriel Wahl

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PC Walker Sacramento, California

Speaker.Writer.Pastor.Spoken Word Poet.

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